uhhh, what am i doing…?
i don’t know.
but i have a “general” “idea”.
(and lots of notes.)
the only way to get things done is to start DOING something, right? so i guess DAT what i be DOIN’.
what’s weird is that i spent a week trying to catch this fly in our house and when it was on the window, i opened it to let it out, but of course there is a screen, so now he is trapped between the window and the screen, and he’s bugging me even more than when he was flying around the dang house. he flies erratically and crawls all over the screen and he and his shadow dance all over my workspace all the live long day. rawr.
how freaking long do flies live anyways? someone has been sneaking him supplies. he has a lot of friends i’m sure. feeding him and whatnot. what the heck.
in any case, i’ve been that fly, stuck between whatever i’ve been stuck between, somehow still alive but probably not entirely due to my own efforts, anxious to do something in that big wide world out there.
don’t ask me why i didn’t just kill the dang fly. i don’t know why i didn’t kill the goshdarn fly.
actually part of the reason is because i suck at killing things. and given the perfect opportunity, i just can’t deliver the goods. maybe i’m clumsy or uncoordinated or have horrible eyesight. there’s a good chance it’s all three.
but, i don’t have a problem squishing, say, fruit flies, because those are just disgusting and multiply like there’s no tomorrow. so ya gotta get em or you’re gonna pay for it dearly the next day. case in point, we had a horrible fruit fly infestation, it multiplied exponentially over a couple of days, and on the third day, i found the goshdurned source, and it was like a freaking party, a hugely disgusting fruit fly party, in all six of our carved halloween pumpkins. so sick. flies just going all over the freaking place, in and out of eye sockets, nose holes, the whole shehbam, blech!!!!!
of course, i discovered it at some random moment, just as the kids were starting a fight and the neighbors dropped by to introduce themselves. i was trying to spit the flies away from my mouth, trying to breathe OUT more than in, whipping them away from my face like a lunatic, while trying to deal with everything that was going on (uh, why not just walk AWAY from the pumpkins and deal, you ask? because i can’t think fast enough, it’s the same reason i can’t find the stupid horn when someone cuts me off by running a red light through an intersection.)
what the HECK am i even TALKING about.
THIS is the first of many posts in my brand spanking new BLOG.
as you can probably already tell from the above, it is going to be very–how shall i put it?–R A N D O M.
but i hope that sometimes you’ll think it funny. but i must warn you that: (1) i DO tend to write a LOT (as in quantity)(because i am a super fast typer)(also, because, when something’s on my mind, i HAVE to let it OUT somehow); (2) i DO tend to use inappropriate word choices (because i have what some might term a “potty mouth”)(but also because i think it’s healing to use expletives)(also i think bad words are funny); (3) i DO tend to think some things are funny even though some people would think it makes me a sick and twisted individual and not find the same things funny (this is because i am a sick and twisted individual).
so if you no likey, den you might want to stop reading riiiightttt