dirty bird

Published December 19, 2012 by snowhillofdoom

her–whut wuth dat burd doin’?

me–what bird?

her–it was in the road

me–was it movin?

her–no it wasn’t moobing it was fwat like maybe sumbunny car run it o-burr

me–then it was probably hurt by a car

her–or dead?

me–yes maybe it is dead

her–how long is it dead for? forever?

me–yes forever

her–well who run it o-burr

me–somebody probably ran it over accidentally with their car

her–but WHO mommy WHO run it o-burr

me–i don’t know, i wasn’t there when it happened

her–but MOMMY WHY YOU NOT KNOW

me–because i wasn’t (FREAKING) THERE!

her–but mommy, i think YOU ran it o-burr!

me–I DID NOT! WHAT ARE YOU FREAKING TALKING ABOUT

IT WAS DEAD BEFORE WE SAW IT IN THE ROAD!

her–but i think you DID it mommy because it dead

and we don’t know nobuddy else who did it

me–ARGH ARE WE REALLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION

YOU BETTER NOT TELL PEOPLE YOUR MOMMY IS

RUNNING OVER BIRDIES BECAUSE I DIDN’T RUN IT OVER

YOU WOULD’VE HEARD ME RUN IT OVER

O MY GOODNESS YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!

anyways, why i got sucked into that trap i don’t know.

so far i haven’t heard her spreading any rumors

so it will probably come out later on

when she is at show n tell in the 3rd grade. bah!

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5 comments on “dirty bird

  • This one still cracks me up only because I know our wonderful little terror we call our daughter. The things that come out of her mouth never amaze me – then again, look at her mom, she never ceases to amaze me either whether it be by falling up stairs, dropping things that normal people have no problems with or just plain old electronics equipment that just never seem to do what they’re supposed to do. But the moment I touch them, no issue. Kinda like when you go to the mechanic with a sound from your car, you try to mimic the sound in person (which must always be fun for them), they test drive the car, listen to it and it never does it for them. You take the car home and it starts up again. Life is fun ain’t it?

  • That bird you killed actually may not be gone forever…. it may come back as vengeful squirrel or raccoon or something and come after your whole family. Maybe waiting right outside the door to attack your daughter. Maybe tell her that?

    Okay, pretty scary that I have a daughter…. right? Hopefully when she gets older she won’t start a blog or I may end up in some sort of legal trouble with CPS or something.

  • News has already hit us that you are a BIRD MURDERER … shame on you 🙂

    As for mimicing funny sounds your car makes … doesn’t everyone do that? …. Seriously … ???

    • oh, i probably have MANY strange talents, however, even tho i’ve had lots of close calls, with birds as well as squirrels and other such vermin, i have yet to actually accidentally or purposely murder one. and if i have, i am pretty sure there weren’t any witnesses 😉

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