taking the crazy train to cuckooville

Published January 11, 2013 by snowhillofdoom

dear _________ (name of person/s not in the room),

why do you insist on making my life

a living _________ (name of a place, full of burning)?

when i say i __________ (plucking) hate dealing

with your __________ (poop), it does not mean

‘please continue to torture me with your evil shenanigans’.

when i say ‘get your ________ (poop) together’

it does not mean ‘cry like a _________ (shmucking) baby

plus whine about all of the pretend problems you created”

and it also doesn’t mean

‘please use my face as your personal dung-bucket

during _______ (any or all major bank holidays)

for you to unload your drama-infested-freakout-baggage into’.

ahem.

when you are clearly an insane person existing alongside those who are NOT,

there are a few things you will never know even as i explain them to you now–

1. a non-insane person will not believe anything you say.

because. you. are. clearly. INSANE!

2. a non-insane person is not going to sympathize or empathize!

there will be no thizing!

3. a non-insane person who appears to be listening is actually

fighting the urge to tear their own arm off to beat you with it

AND trying to scratch and claw their way into their happy place

while waiting for your psychotic ass to shutthefuckup!

why this addiction to drama when there are so many other more fun things

to be addicted to? like gambling. gateway drugs. gerbils.

i don’t give a _____ (flippin’ hockey puck rat’s ass)

what the _____ (hockey puck) it is! just ______ (FLIPPING!!!) DO it!

why am i even writing you a letter.

obviously this is for my benefit only and not yours.

because even if i DID send you this letter, you’d just tell yourself

that i accidentally sent it to you instead of my other friend with the same name

because i am addicted to gateway drugs and gambling gerbils.

that i am so silly because my face looks nothing like a dung-bucket.

which means that YOU will learn NOTHING

and I am RIGHT BACK WHERE I BEGAN.

FLIPPIN’HOCKEYPUCKRAT’SASSHOCKEYPUCKHOCKEYPUCKHOCKEYPUCK!

Advertisements

4 comments on “taking the crazy train to cuckooville

  • Hmmm, hangin with insane folk or gambling gerbels?…. you pose an interesting question that I can truly say I have never thought about. I ask myself many many questions that I feel confident are just so strange that nobody has ever asked themselves the same thing before. This one is a question that fits that criteria except it was planted by you. Well played.

  • Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

    Google+ photo

    You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

    Connecting to %s

    %d bloggers like this: